wanderlust

When it gets down to the nitty gritty, I am an overthinker who lives way too much in the future and not enough in the present. Sometimes my overthinking qualities bleed into reminiscing about the past, but usually I’m so lost in thought about what the future may bring that it makes me dizzy.

I’m not saying that I spend so much time thinking about the future that I don’t enjoy the time I spend with Taylor and Berlin. I do, believe me. I do take time to cherish the moments  I have with the girls and my husband, because I know that time is precious. I know this because Taylor is already going to be FOUR in two weeks! It seems insane! 

I just seem to lose my focus and get lost in daydreams. How life will be once Brandon gets a job he loves, and we go back to school… The places we’ll go, the people we’ll meet, the things we’ll do… Etc, etc, etc. I have this horrible inclination to wander– (I don’t mean romantically, I mean literally) I get this strong sense of longing to travel. So, I think about the future- when this will be possible. My mom and I have talked about, in 6 or 7 years, taking the girls out of school and traveling Europe for 6, 9, 12 months, and I just want it to happen. I wish I could take the girls now you know. (Until I think about the spitfire that Berlin is, and how my children cannot stay still for a milisecond…. And then I think about how everyone on the airplane would want to murder me and how I might want to jump out of the plane, and I realize why we have a 6 or 7 year in the future plan).

So, I get lost in the future. Lost in the possibilities. I go on websites, and my heart flutters as I look at the places I could be (again), or the places I could meet. Traveling, to me, is like collecting new friends. And I don’t mean people… I mean cities.

So, this is going to be a little unconventional, but my pic of the day is actually one I took a couple of years ago. But it goes with the topic at hand.

Prague, or as it’s called there, Praha.
the second we drove into the city I knew. The second I stepped foot on those cobbled stone streets I knew. My mom didn’t like Prague as much as the other cities we went to– Prague still has remnants from its Communist past– graffiti, tv towers, power lines. But the city itself was beautiful, and I found these remnants made it more beautiful. In fact, I was certain that Prague and I were kindred spirits.

Anyway, here’s my (old) picture of the day:

 

and I know I didn’t take it today, but I wish I had. I wish my daughters and I could be in Prague right now…. *sigh* but someday. Someday.

I’m not sure what day it’s supposed to be…

All I know is that I’ve been the worst photo blogger ever!!!
I used to blog all the time as a teenager, but lately I’ve been forgetting or just too lazy to get onto this site. (yeah, because it’s so difficult. lol I’m such a lazy bum).

Anyway, I’m going to try to be better. I really am. But that’s what I always say. About everything.

Anywho, Tay and I took some pictures today. She’s turning into a little model. I tried to get her to smile and she told me “no, Mommy, I’m being serious!”

I also don’t know what’s going on with her little “Who” hair. Oh, and here’s the actual “Pic of the day”

i’ve lost track of days…

But here’s my picture of the day today:

39/365

Wow. I’ve been really bad at this! The sad thing is I’ve taken pictures most days, and I just haven’t posted. Sorry, guys. Agh. Ill try to start again soon. Things have been hectic.

15/365

So yesterday I found out that at 24 I have severely high blood pressure. Isn’t that exciting? My doctor (well, actually, my gynocologist), went on about how I could have a stroke at any minute, and how I obviously had anxiety issues, and I needed to stop watching movies, listening to music, watching tv, etc etc etc. Well, that isn’t happening, but I started the O2 diet today (it’s all about the antioxidants in foods), and I’m getting back on the exercise wagon. I think I need to think of an organic way to channel my anxiety and stress into different outlets. I love yoga. I CANNOT meditate (I have been trying since I was a teenager). But we’ll seee how this goes.

So, another one of my best friends is getting married. But in August. I’m extremely excited for him. Sometimes I’m not sure the woman he’s marrying is the one for him… He’s changed a lot since they met last year, but I know that he is happy, and she is really a great person. So, I’m excited for them.

Anyway, my pic of the day:

12/365

Man, it hasn’t even been two weeks, and I’ve missed two days already! Ah!
This is the only picture I took today.

So, I’m already planning Taylor’s 4th Birthday in April (in my head at least), and she’s going to have a Fancy Nancy birthday party. Yay. It’s going to be a tea party sort of thing. I’m excited. I get really dorky about this kind of stuff.

That’s all.

10/365

Skipped yesterday. Ugh, such a slacker! I’ll use the sick excuse again, but it’s the truth. Yesterday I barely got out of bed.

I’ve been having trouble with some friends of mine. Sometimes I wonder if they’re 25 or 15. One of my “best friends” is a mutual friend witht my friend who is getting married, and we were all supposed to drive to Tucson and help our friend pick out a dress, but my so called friend didn’t invite me. Nope. It’s because she thinks she should be the maid of honor (there isn’t one), and she’s obviously had a problem with the fact that the other friend and I are closer than they are. I know, confusing, but I don’t want to write names. Anyway, so she and another girl went down to Tucson… and they all went dress shopping. Without me. My feelings were hurt to say the least. Maybe I’m sick, but they didn’t know that for one, and I think it’s shady and rude. But what do you do? Sometimes I think the only friends I really have are ones who live in different states (and my real best friend whose in South Korea because she went to live with her hubby who is stationed there). It gets lonely, you know? Sometimes I think trying to hold onto friendships that are fading fast is easier than letting go and realizing there’s no one.

Picture of the day is blurry. Argh.

and another blurry picture. (i was way off my game today)

 

I’ve watched you change
I’ve heard your words rearrange
Played back from the start
And if I did teach you anything at all
I hope it was to love with all your heart
-Orchids, Maria Taylor